LIFE & FAMILY// SOMETHING I NEVER DARE TO SAY TO MY MOTHER

Baby Wen & Her Mother (Age 3 month & 27)

Everyone knows, it is a universally acknowledged truth that, one day, eventually, no matter how hard we try to fight against... we will all gradually turn into our parents, one way or another... What a dreadful thought.

The dread is not really 'turning into my parents', but the fact that I try to fight against it. Why do I not want to turn into my parents, most particularly, why do I not want to become like my mother? My mother is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most dedicated loving mother on earth. For as long as I can remember, all I know is just how much she loves us and cares for us, always giving us the best she can give, saving us the most precious. So, why do I not want to become like her?
My mother and I are very close. She gave me all the best, and she wants nothing but the best for me. However, what she thinks is the best, may not necessarily be the best for me from my point of view. By not doing what she wanted me to do, and going against her will, it resulted in countless arguments and tensions between us. My mother, being so dedicated and loving, she always let me win. She lets me do what I want to do. But I know she is disappointed, and she never hides her disappointment from me either. I am sure all of you (being someone's daughter and someone's son, especially those of you, like me, grew up under oriental traditions and Chinese family values) will understand this struggle. This is why I said, I don't want to become like my mother, with all the possible guilt you can imagine. I hope I could be a mother who gives her daughter the love that she needs and feels no pressure. (But is that really? Is that really the reason?) To be honest, it has so little to do with what my future daughter would feel. I guess the real reason why I don't want to turn into my mum is that I don't want to feel upset because the children don't live up to my expectation. I want to be a mother when the children do something I disapprove, I won't be so disappointed as my mother feels right now... Or, perhaps, what I really, truly want to say is, I hope I didn't disappoint you (at least not) too much, mum.